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In Ask Vywamus we offer you the opportunity to ask this wise being your personal questions about life and/or the nature of existence and see your answer published here. Please browse through some of the questions and answers posted below, then email your question to Ask Vywamus. Vywamus will respond here, as time and space permit. Sorry, we are not accepting new questions for the website at this time. Feel free to explore the the material that is already posted here or schedule a session with the channel, Ann Hastings. Please, due to time and space limitations, we ask that if you have already asked and recieved an answer through Ask Vywamus or you want a more personal experience of Vywamus's great wisdom and compassion schedule an in-person, taped, or phone channeling session with Ann Hastings. For more information go to Channeling Session call 207-625-8341 or email vywamus@vywamus.com

The Mechanics of Reality channeled by Ann Hastings is a compilation of Vywamus's teachings on the practice of self-acceptance and offers the reader a new map for the exploration of consciousness. Available now from BMHC Press! Click Here to Order

QUESTIONS: PAGE 2

• What can be done to prepare for the difficulties that lie ahead if the year 2000 computer bug is as devastating as predicted?
• I seem to be on a permanent downward spiral in my life, is it ever going to change?
• What can you suggest in order to go on and avoid stagnation?
• How do I know where I stand ascension-wise?
• How can I connect to my son without him feeling more separation than he feels already?
• How can I release the emotions from memories of abuse?
• How can there be real self-acceptance until one knows the self?
• Why I have been so unlucky in love?
• How can I regain the blissful feeling of a meditation I experienced?
• How do I know where my psychic awareness comes from?
• Does the soul exist?
• Does the self exist?
• If we always accept everything is it ok to kill?
• Who is and what is the history of Vywamus?
• How can I transform myself and see the now and future as one?
• Why are Mary and UFOs appearing at this time?
• PAGE 1: More Questions and Answers
• PAGE 3: More Questions and Answers

A Question from Karen: Dear Vywamus, I wanted to ask someone with a bigger perspective about the year 2000 computer bug issue. Conventional wisdom suggests that there will be massive disruptions in distribution systems affecting food supplies and heating fuel. It is also suggested that there will be failures of cooling systems storing toxic materials in nuclear plants and elsewhere that could be devastating. The fear is that there is an immovable point in time when man will not be able to control nature for his purposes. Is this a valid concern and if so what can be done to help others prepare for the difficulties that lie ahead?

Vywamus's Response

It seems to me that your question has two distinct levels of meaning. One level is simply a question regarding whether or not certain very specific circumstantial events will occur in the future, and what can be done about them if they do occur. The other level of your question, the more general level, is about how to avoid the arising of circumstances that are not desired, and how to deal with such circumstances when they do arise.

As I do not make predictions about specific events of the future, I cannot fairly answer the first level of your question. The reason I do not make predictions about specific events of the future is that I am trying to make a point that the actual circumstances of your life are the not the most important thing that is going on in your life. This is a hard concept for my students to initially grasp and then grab firm hold of because it seems to go so against the grain of what you have been taught most of the time.

Most people spend almost all of their time trying to control or influence the events that arise in their lives. It is believed that doing so is what keeps them safe. I want people to consider that safety is inherent to life (it is part of the nature of reality that all that is is always safe), and that the most useful life skill is to learn to meet all experiences with acceptance and equanimity. This requires a refocusing of the attention from how to control the outcome of events to how to participate in them in a way that emerges from acceptance of what is.

To turn to your example, you seem to be concerned that there will come a time when human beings can no longer control their environment. Well, who said human beings were controlling it now? If you look around you at all that can be observed, you will see that circumstances are sometimes what you might consider favorable and sometimes not favorable. That is the way circumstances are and always will be. The skill that you can learn is to work with what is offered you without judging whether it is good enough. You will never be able to make circumstances be more favorable than they are now. The reason for this is that there is only one moment, so what is now is what will always be. Another way of looking at it is that you are the environment of your lives, not the controllers of the environment of your lives. This is an important distinction. When you are something, you cannot control it -- you can only be it. In order to control something you must be separate and apart from it. You must be outside of it. Since there is only one thing in reality, then you cannot possibly ever be outside of anything to control it. That is why, in order to work effectively in the world, you must accept that you are not creating your world. You are only being it. Your world already is. You can be willing to experience it as it is, or you can reject it and try to avoid the experience of life, which is called denial. That is your only choice.

So you can see that the material question is not whether your computers are going to screw things up in the year 2000. You can be sure that when that year comes some things will work as you would hope and other things will not, just as it is now. What is important for you to decide is whether you are willing to meet whatever is in your life right now and whatever may come in the year 2000. It is an illusion that things will be different then than now, whatever the actual events may seem to be.

None of this is offered to leave you with the conclusion that how you participate in life doesn't matter. What is intended is to lead you to the conclusion that your participation in life is most fulfilling when you can participate in all of life, not just that part you have decided to like. Since life has many events that you don't like, if you chose to participate in only those events that you like, then you are yourself withdrawing from much of what life is. That is okay, but you must understand that your dissatisfaction with life arises from your not participating in it fully because you think a lot of it is not good enough as it is. You could experience satisfaction and fulfillment in life by participating more fully in it, but to do so you must be willing to enter into experiences that you have not wanted to enter in to. If you want to be happy and satisfied with your life experience in the year 2000 you must be willing to enter into whatever happens. If you make that decision, then you do not have to worry about what actually will happen, because it won't matter anymore. If you don't make that decision, you will not be happy and fulfilled no matter what happens because you are not entering into life. None of this need lead you to not caring about your participation in preparing for the challenges ahead. Instead it can take away your worry about the outcome of your participation and allow you to enter life fully and with complete abandon.

A Question from Columbine: I seem to be on a permanent downward spiral in my life, is it ever going to change? I am tired of never having enough money for anything, no love life, bad health, etc...

Vywamus's Response

Although this is a somewhat difficult aspect of reality to grasp, especially when you feel as you do, the truth is that there is always enough, even in your life just as it is now. You believe that the way to make your life satisfying is to have more money, more of a love life, better health, etc., but that is not so. It may seem like a riddle, but the only way to be satisfied and fulfilled in life is to start where you are. There is nothing inherently unsatisfying in not having money, and there is nothing inherently unsatisfying in not having a partner or in not being fully healthy. Whatever you encounter in life is very interesting and involving. Being interested and involved in your life without judging yourself is the only source satisfaction and fulfillment that there is.

What you are struggling with is the belief that if you don't have money you are not a success, that if you don't have a love life you are not a success and if you aren't healthy you are not a success. I know that you will want to answer that I am not being realistic, because it takes money to live and it's not as much fun to be alone and it does not feel as good to be unhealthy as to be healthy. However you have enormous illusions about what it is to have money or a relationship or health. I'm sure you can look around you and find examples of people who have lots of money who are unhappy; people who are in relationships with others who are not happy; and people who are in perfect health who are unhappy.

I am not saying that it is bad to have money or to be in relationship or to be healthy. I am just saying that your well being does not rest on these conditions in your life, and that, if these conditions do not exist in your life presently, that is not responsible for any downward spiral that you may be experiencing.

Before you will ever experience life to be fulfilling and satisfying you will have to become willing to be satisfied and fulfilled with you life just as it is. So long as you wish your life to be different than it is, you will be unsatisfied, no matter what circumstances may arise in your life.

A Question from Preda: Dear Vyvamus, Your teachings about self-acceptance have a positive immediate emotional impact. On a daily base, so much fades away, however. Self denial, the feeling of fault and the habit of lost unity within oneself and the Universe are enrooted indeed. While the thirst for the lost feeling of unity is major, error and improvement are also basics of our human existence. Among others, there is thus also this need of distinction: accept oneself, without becoming indulgent with ones' faults. Given that the process takes place in the world, where which ever path we choose, its consequences are strongly amplified by the surrounding, I see two risks between indulging in self denial and indulging in positive thinking of quite improvable aspects of one self. When the instinct for the right choice for the moment does not give an answer (accept/change), what can you suggest in order to go on and avoid stagnation ? Also, so much time one lives in this feeling of lost unity suddenly appears as lost time when, at moms, unity seem to find its way back. There is this fear of confronting life that slipped through ones' finger which is a tenacious prison guardian. Any hints how to deal with this?

Vywamus's Response

First of all, it is important to remember that you live in the context of the illusion of duality, and that this illusion has been used by humanity as a group to construct a deeply ingrained (now unconscious) pattern of thought that continually overcomes your coexistent awareness of your constant state of unity with all that is. It is important to remember this because it is the reason that much of the basic spiritual work you must do is to remind yourself over and over again moment to moment as you live your life that you are one with all that is. If that were the only practice that you engaged in all the other concerns expressed in your question would eventually fall away due to the clarity that would come to you over time from the practice.

By engaging in the practice of reminding yourself that you are one with all that is, I mean consciously reminding yourself moment to moment that everything and everyone you encounter in your life is god, and that there is nothing that you encounter, no matter how unlikely it seems, that is not also who you are. By choosing this practice you learn of the infinite nature of god, and you learn that you are god. In order for this practice to truly be helpful to you, you must become willing to know in yourself all you encounter in life, and your willingness to do this will depend on your willingness to accept yourself just as you are, without improvement.

As you truly grow in your awareness that you are god, you will gradually stop worrying about stagnation and self indulgence in your life, as you will be able to become interested in how god can become stagnant and self indulgent. You will begin to find everything about yourself and others interesting, and you will lose the desire to change yourself or others. This process will never be complete. It will seem to bring about change in you and others because you will find that your perceptions are different and you will find that both you and others appear somewhat differently when there is less judgment about. The undefended self appears different than the defended self, although there is in fact no difference, because more of what is is being revealed.

A Question from Ane: Dear Vywamus, How do I know where I stand ascension-wise? I do read books on techniques for ascension, and I have good experiences (I think), but how do I know what I need to do next. How do I find out what I need to work on most - what the next "project" should be to advance towards ascension?

Vywamus's Response

From my point of view, the process of ascension that you write of in your question does not really exist. I do not mean to say that there are not individuals who have greater conscious awareness than others. What I do mean to say is that there is no process of ascension such as is implied by your question.

You write of "good" experiences and "advancement" as if there are experiences that are unacceptable and as if your goal is to improve yourself so you can become better than you already are. These are important misconceptions in your awareness which are leading you to put your efforts into activities that are not helping you to become happy and fulfilled in your life.

Your purpose in embodying as a human being is not to become a better and more advanced being. Rather, your purpose in embodying as a human being is to come to know your true nature by self exploration. You are trying to reach outside yourself by improving yourself so that you can become someone that you are not now. This very process implies profound self rejection and results in an attempt to abandon self. It is the suffering that is caused by your own self rejection and self abandonment that is the driving force behind your desire to improve yourself. The problem is that what you are presently doing will not work to alleviate your suffering.

Please remember with me that there is only one substance in the universe, and that you are already it. There is nothing else for you to become than who you already are. There are no improvements that can be made to the only thing that is. I understand that, if this is so, you are not overly impressed with this one substance that is the universe, which is also you. The root of your confusion emerges from the wrong belief that what is, in its purest state, is perfect. The real meaning of the concept of perfection is of completion. You want to experience yourself as complete, yet you will never be complete, because it is the nature of reality to always be evolving. In the continuous process of evolution there is never a stopping point where completion is reached.

If you want to know yourself, which is another way of asking if you want to know god, then you are going to have to become willing to accept that you are never going to experience completion or perfection. Another thing you are going to have to accept is that you are already enough just as you are. The path of self acceptance is not an easy one. It will require a complete turn around for you in your approach to life, and you will need help in the form of regular contact with a teacher who knows the truth of what has been written here.

A Question from Arthur: First of all, is there such a thing as a "twin flame"? Some New Age teachings that I've come across state that our souls are really only half-souls, polarized toward the masculine or feminine, that depend on their complementary "other half" in order to be complete. Is this true?

My second question is the one that has been giving me hell. Many New Age books seem to have an anti-masculine theme to them and get into proving how much males are spiritually inferior females, as well as claiming how much more powerful female energy is compared to male energy. They even state that men can't be very intimate with nature (or even with other people) as much as women can. Is this true? This idea has instilled a terrible fear of the feminine within me to the point where I have become paralyzed. I feel like I'm stuck expressing only masculine energy and that I'll never be able to express feminine energy nor be able to come back in another lifetime as a full-fledged woman.

Vywamus's Response

First of all, reality is made up of only one thing. Reality can express itself in many ways, but its various expressions do not alter the fact that all that is is one infinite thing, of which there can be no separate parts. Understanding this will hopefully bring you to the awareness that no thing that is is ever less than all that is just as it is, and that includes you. Therefore, I want to assure you that any teaching that tells you that you are not a full expression of all that is just as you are is misleading you, however, it is not my intention to attack any other teachings. I would prefer to focus on who you are, rather on what anyone else may have taught you. In saying that I am not unmindful that what is taught is not always the same as what is learned, and that all teachings contain some distortion, even my own, for all that is does not and never will exist in a state of perfection.

There has been much confusion about the illusion of duality as it expresses itself in the apparent duality between the masculine and the feminine. Among humans many believe that there are two primary types of energy flow -- the male and the female. It is interesting that, as with many of the illusions maintained by humans, what you encounter everyday shows you that there are not two and only two distinct energy flows embodied by humans, but still you believe it. There are humans born every day with no genitalia of either sex. There are humans born with genitalia of both sexes. There are humans who have male genitalia and feel that they are really women. There are humans who have male genitalia and like their genitalia but feel themselves to have the sensibilities associated with women. There are humans who have female genitalia for whom these experiences are reversed. In other words, despite what you may have been told or what you might believe, there is no exclusively masculine flow or exclusively feminine flow. Everything that is is in its basic nature one thing, and all humans beings are simply exploring that one thing by choosing to embody it in the infinite ways that what is can be embodied. The purpose of doing this is to explore reality, which is by its nature both infinite and unified.

The confusion that you suffer from arises from the initial distortion that is set up by the task of humans in exploring an expression of all that is that does not recognize itself as being all that is. Because human beings are embodiments of all that is that do not know that that is who human beings are, then human beings naturally would believe that there exists something else in the universe that is not human -- i.e. something that is separate and apart from humans. This misunderstanding gives rise to the illusion that there can be more than one thing in the universe at one time -- i.e. the illusion of duality. The belief that there can be more than one energy flow in the universe at a time arises from this illusion of duality.

I challenge you to let go of the beliefs that you have been taught about what it is to be a man and what it is to be a woman. You believe that some teachings have imposed your beliefs upon you. That is a way of not taking responsibility for who you are. Begin to let yourself be anything you want to be without regard to any teachings about masculine and feminine flow. Trust your own experience. Let yourself embody all that is any way it seems appropriate at any moment and don't impose any rigid rules upon yourself about who you are supposed to be. Don't let anyone tell you what you can and cannot experience. Be who you are and not who you have been told that you are.

This will require great self acceptance. The reason you have not done this already is because you have a belief that you are not good enough just as you are. The only way to successfully challenge this belief is to explore yourself just as you are. The only way to explore yourself is to accept yourself, because you cannot allow yourself to know in yourself anything that you are not willing to accept.

A Question from Adriana: My 28 year old son and I are working through issues around this early childhood, how can I connect to him without him feeling more separation than he feels already?

Vywamus's Response

The way that you can feel most connected with your son, or anyone for that matter, is to accept him completely just as he is, and to acknowledge that to the extent you are unable to accept him, it is a factor of who you are and not a factor of who he is. It is of great help in undertaking this task to remember that both you and your son are and will be always all right no matter what has happened or will happen between you.

Human beings always feel that they are not all right. It is a part of the existential experience of being human to believe that you are not all right just as you are. You believe this, and you son believes this. This belief arises from the experience of entering into an aspect of god (also known as what is) that does not recognize itself as god. All human beings are engaged in the process of embodying an aspect of god that does not know itself to be god. It is your purpose to rediscover your true god nature through self exploration. You can do this through the process of connecting with your son or in any other part of your life.

In order to be able to accept your son, your are first going to have to come to some degree of acceptance of your self just as you are. While it is true that you probably acted in some ways as a parent to your son that caused him pain, that does not make it true that he is not all right just the same just as he is. It also does not make you responsible for his feelings in life, whatever they may be. What your son does with his life experiences is always his responsibility, no matter what part you may have played in his life experiences.

As a parent and child it is easy to become entangled with each other in ways that make it hard to sort out who is who and who is responsible for what. Much of what makes it difficult for you to receive your son without judgment is your own belief that you are not good enough and that you were not a good enough parent. Remember that there is nothing you could have done as a parent that was not okay. The reason that can be is that it is not bad to have caused your son pain. Pain is one of the experiences that everyone feels while living. There is nothing wrong with pain. The fact that your son may have felt pain as a result of your parenting does not mean that you failed in any way as a parent. Your son’s pain was inevitable no matter what you did. So long as you believe otherwise, you will not be able to fully receive your son just as he is.

If you want to have a fulfilling relationship with your son, inquire of him who he is and be interested in what he tells you. Don’t blame yourself for who he is or take credit for who he is. Don’t ask him to be anyone he is not. Find something to admire in him each time you encounter him. Let him have full responsibility for himself, while you concentrate on taking full responsibility for yourself. Above all else remember that you are both always safe no matter what, even if you don’t feel that way.

A Question from Dotti: I was abused from the time of 10 months by my Mother and sexually abused from 5 years by my StepDad. I am trying to release the emotions from the memories so that I do not have automatic responses to words and actions of others. Can you give me instructions on how this can be completely done?

Vywamus's Response

The first thing I would say to you is that it is all right for you to have the emotions that you have and to have the responses you have to others. You may not like them, but in this moment they are part of who you are, and, in wanting to eliminate them from your life, you are rejecting yourself. If you are uncomfortable in your life right now, it is not because you have had any particular experience. It is because you believe that the experiences you have had are not good enough or are not acceptable, so you want to rid yourself of the reminders of them.

You cannot become who you are not. You have had the experiences that you have had, and those experiences have had the effects that they have had on you. There is nothing you can do to change any of that. I urge you to be willing to consider that you may be all right just as you already are, even though I know that you don't actually feel that way right now. If you try to cut off awareness of your life experiences by repressing, forgetting, denying or ignoring them, you will only be diminished, and, even though this may seem unlikely, your life will be less satisfying. Contrary to what people say, you cannot simply release or let go of any part of self. What you can do is become willing to accept yourself just as you are, and then it won't bother you that you have certain feelings or react to people in certain ways.

I know that many human beings believe right now that they are helping those who have been hurt by suggesting that the hurt ones move past or rise above or release their hurtful experiences.The truth is that others suggest that you do this because they do not want to know in themselves the hurt that you are feeling. Most human beings believe that the experience of pain is not as good as the experience of pleasure. Most human beings are afraid of pain and want to eliminate it wherever it arises in their lives. When one human being encounters another who is feeling pain, then the one encountering the one in pain must either encourage the one feeling pain to somehow stop feeling it or encounter in him or her self the sympathetic vibration of the other's pain. Usually the choice is to encourage the one feeling pain to stop feeling his or her pain, at least to some degree. This process does not serve the needs of the one feeling pain. The one feeling pain needs to be helped to know that he or she is all right even with the pain. Otherwise people are being encouraged to not enter into their life experiences, which is never ultimately helpful to anyone.

Please understand that I am sympathetic to your discomfort in life resulting from your experiences as a child. It's just that from my perspective the discomfort arises not from the experiences themselves, but rather from the human reaction to them.

A Follow-up Question from Robert: Thank you for your excellent answer to my last question. Continuing from there, how can there be real self-acceptance until one knows the self? Wouldn't self-acceptance prevent learning, which is usually based on a sense of personal incompleteness? Or does learning just come without seeking it? Is it possible to escape our self-made prison of words by making more words? What is the real question that should be asked? Or would real self-acceptance end the need for questions? I have a feeling that all my seeking for answers will some day just dissolve into knowing. Or do I already know and must just allow the knowing? (Another question!). Thank you for your patience with me.

Vywamus's Response

Self acceptance is the process by which you come to know self, because you cannot know what you cannot accept. To a large degree you attempt to deny what you cannot accept in self, so you can maintain an illusion that you are different than you are. To begin practicing self acceptance you first need to become willing to look at yourself honestly and notice who you are, at least in some small respect. The first step in self acceptance is often to accept that you do not accept yourself. Because that is an honest assessment of your present state, it is an act of self acceptance to become willing to know that about self. Self acceptance does not mean becoming anyone other than you presently find yourself to be.

Remember that self acceptance practice does not have as its goal changing who you are. Please examine yourself honestly to see if you are entering into the practice in order to improve yourself or to better yourself. That is not the point of the practice, and it won't work for that purpose. You are already good enough. You are already safe. You already have the availability of satisfaction in every experience, whatever shape it takes.

The practice of self acceptance is often a slow and painstaking process. Your mind races and you want your self acceptance practice to race, as well. The whole point of the process of accepting self is to slow down, because there is no place to race to. You already are everything that is. You just need to stop and notice who you already are. There is no problem with thoughts or words in and of themselves. They are only tools. It is how you use them that leads you off the path of self discovery. The way you use them reinforces your sense that you are going somewhere and that there is somewhere else to go. You do not have to figure anything out. You just have to pay attention to what is already there as you. I am serious in saying this. The practice of self acceptance is not about figuring anything out. It is about being who you are and becoming willing to simply notice it. Noticing is not figuring out. It is just paying attention. Thought is not necessary to noticing. Thought is not a detriment to noticing if you don't let get in the way. Let your thoughts do what they will, just don't look for the truth in them. The truth can be translated into thought, but thought is not the source of truth.

It is true that you could suddenly become aware that you already know everything that there is to know, but that is rarely the human experience except for brief instances of awareness, which many humans have. Your very question leads me to wonder if you don't think it is better to know more than you do. If that is so it is an indication that you are not accepting yourself just as you are (which is normal). I suggest you begin to accept who you are and not who you think you could be.

A Question from Marcela: Could you please tell me why I have been so unlucky in love? What do I need to learn from that? I am talking about all kinds of love, not only in romantic relationships. It seems to me that every time I get really close to someone, that someone goes away. My oldest brother passed away only 2 months before I was going to go live with him. Then my grandfather passed away 14 years later. Then I met THE man of my life, but for some heavy reasons, we broke up and we have never seen each other again. Those were the 3 men in my life, those were the only 3 people who really knew me. I felt their love for me and I love them with all the strength in my heart. What am I supposed to learn from all this? My Mom is alive, but we are not really close, I love her very, very much but I have been unable to open to her completely. Maybe I am asking too much. Thank you.

Vywamus's Response

I am not able to tell you why you have been unlucky in love because I do not perceive luck to have anything to do with your life. From my point of view, there is no such thing as good luck or bad luck. In fact, there is no such thing as luck at all. There is only what is, pure and simple, no more and no less. The whole idea that you are unlucky implies that your life could have been or could be now different than it was or is. There is no truth to that. Your life was what it was and it is what it is. Your task in life is not to figure out how to make your life better. Rather, your task is to explore how you life is, so that you can have awareness of the nature of reality and of who you really are.

As you probably already know in some way, what is is just a big unity, even though it often is perceived to have many separate parts. It is also true that time is an illusion, and that there is only one moment, even though there often seem to be many separate and consecutive moments. Just as human beings base your belief structure on the assumption that there is something else other that who you already are that you can become, you also base your belief structure on the assumption that there is a past and a future in which you may not always be the same person that you are now. Both of these assumptions and the belief structures they support are false. You are who you are and you can never be anyone else, but you are not yet fully experiencing who you are. That is why you are not fully satisfied with your life as you know it, not because you are unlucky in love.

I do not want you to translate this material into the belief that you have somehow not done your life right and, therefore, find yourself to blame for your unhappiness. You are never at fault for you life experiences, because any life experience is as good as any other. You are unhappy in your life not because you are unlucky in love, but because you believe that what you have in your life is not enough just as it is. It is understandable that you would feel that way, as you have been taught all of your life to perceive yourself as not good enough just as you are. However, believing yourself not to be good enough just as you are is an act of self-rejection, and rejection is always painful, especially rejection of self.

You have enough love in your life. Love is your very nature, as it is the essence of all that is, and you, dear one, whether or not you know it, already are all that is. If you want to experience the love that you already are, then you must be willing to find it in your life as it is. That does not mean that you will not ever have the kind of love that you have been seeking. Instead it means that you may find that the love you are seeking is already in your life in ways that you do not yet recognize. You will need help in undertaking the task of self-discovery that you face. Find someone to help you who knows that you are already enough as you are, and give yourself to the process of self exploration.

A Question from Tom: Dear Vywamus , I hope you are well and happy. Back in August I had an unexpected and wonderfully blissful evening meditation.Out of the blue I was filled with a deep sense of joy and I couldn't stop smiling. The next morning it all faded like a pleasant dream. Now when I sit I yearn for this feeling again and I feel a little frustrated that it doesn't re-appear. I get little glimpses of it now and then but sometimes it seems like it will never come back. I often wonder what happened to me back in August that I got such a powerful feeling of bliss and joy that one time. I know I should just let it go, but the memory of that meditation is so sweet! I want that feeling again more than anything. I guess the 2nd Noble Truth is really true. Thank you for your reflections on this matter.

Vywamus's Response

You are describing very accurately the limiting effect that having preferences has in life. You have had an experience that you so enjoyed that you now wish to exclude all other experiences from your life in order that you may only have that one repeatedly. You probably wish you could bring this experience to others, as well, to the exclusion of all other experiences, as this experience has come to seem to you to be the best experience anyone could have. The problem that arises for you is that, in trying to replay this experience over and over again, you are rejecting the rest of life. No matter how wonderful an experience is, if that is the only experience that you will accept as good enough, then you are severely limiting your life experience, which will eventually lead to unfulfillment in life.

The fullest experience of life is one that allows for the experience of all that is. Becoming willing to experience all that life offers, without preference, is what enlightenment is, for it is only by becoming willing to experience everything that life offers that you can enjoy complete awareness of all that is. When you narrow the range of what you are willing to experience to just one thing, then you are dramatically limiting what you can know.

Please don't be discouraged by this. It is wonderful for you to have experienced so openly the urge to limit yourself. Limiting self in this way is part of the human experience, as the very purpose of those who embody in human form is to move into an area of consciousness that does not know itself to be unlimited, so awareness of the true unlimited nature of consciousness can be expanded through the process of self discovery. It is self acceptance that allows the process of self discovery to proceed. It is by examining how well what you are already doing works that you get to know whether or not you are accurately perceiving how reality works.

One misconception that humans have is that the way to make life more fulfilling is to find what is liked and then limit life experience to those favored experiences. You have now discovered through your own experience that this method does not work, if only because you have been unable to accomplish it. You may think that the reason you are unable to bring yourself back to the experience that you liked so much again and again is because you need to try harder or learn some special technique, but the truth is that you are one with all that is and are actually unable to exclude any part of life, no matter how hard you try. In your state of oneness, the best you can do to try to limit your experience is to deny other experiences that you don't want to have. Denial does not bring you to the experience you prefer, rather it is just an attempt to avoid the experience of much of who and what you are. While you cannot actually not be who and what you are, you can try not to notice it. When you attempt over and over again to re-experience you meditation you are trying to exclude the rest of you life. You just can't do that, so it won't work. If you persist in denying the rest of you experience, you will find yourself unhappy and unfulfilled. The only way to happiness is to become willing to experience satisfaction in all of your experiences, no matter what they are.

A Question from Bonnie: I have been feeling very confused spiritually for a long time, more specifically the last year. I have a high interest in astrology and psychic awareness. I have, for many years, been able to predict or "see" things happen before they actually do. Most people that have experienced this with me think I am very weird but I know that it is a gift and I would like to develop this but am unsure how. When I start feeling a presence I get a strong "feeling" in my palms and wrists, I don't really know how to explain it. How do I know where this feeling is coming from? I have, at times, made my husband feel better by running my hands over (not touching) an area of him that is hurting, such as his head with a headache, and it goes away. Is this coincidence or is it something to do with my spirituality?

Vywamus's Response

I would not say that you were confused spiritually at all. Rather, I would say that you are confused about who you are and how you operate. The way to get to know who you are and how you operate is to pay attention to yourself and to trust your own perceptions of yourself. It is not surprising that you need to be taught now to pay attention to who you are and to trust your own perceptions of yourself, as you have always been taught to look outside yourself for the truth in all aspects of your life. Otherwise it wouldn't bother you that other people think you are weird.

The way to develop your skills in any area of your life is to practice them. For example, allow yourself to trust your sense of who to touch and how to touch them. Don't worry about whether you are doing it right or not. After all, unless you are actually beating someone, you can't do that person much harm just by touching. Then notice what effect your touching has had on the one you are touching, as well as noticing what effect your touching another has had on you. Try to do this, as much as possible, without judging yourself or the one you are touching. Through this process you will learn the true nature of your skills -- i.e. who you really are. It will not help you much if I just tell you who you are, as you would never believe me unless you experienced it yourself.

I recommend that you stop worrying about where these skills are coming from. The truth is that they aren't coming from anywhere. They are just part of who you are. Moreover, they don't make you any better or worse than anyone else. It is always helpful to remember, when you discover in yourself skills that seem unusual, that, since the truth about reality is that all that is is really one big unity, everything that is in you is also in everyone else, and vice versa. For reasons that are not necessarily ever important for you to know, you do have the ability to access these skills. Practice your skills all you want without fear, but don't ever think having them has anything to do with establishing your value. Always remember that your value is innate in your very being and is never anything you can or have to earn or prove.

A Question from Sarah: Vywamus, I have been feeling confusion about the issue of the existence of a soul. In Christian teachings, the soul is central but in Buddhist there is no soul, there really isn't any identifiable "thing" or entity which would constitute a soul. How do you understand this issue? Thank you.

Vywamus's Response

Consciousness comes in many forms, although everything that is is a form of consciousness, as consciousness is just another word for energy and everything that is is made from some kind of packaging of energy, including all things that seem to have a soul and all things that do not seem to have a soul. The simplest answer to your question is that both Christians and Buddhists are accurate to a degree. Of course, Christ himself and Buddha himself were each quite aware of what is. Some of that awareness has been lost in the various translations of their teachings that have been disseminated.

That which has been called a soul by some is a layer of consciousness that is less dense and less durable than the physical body. Contrary to many belief systems now relied upon by human beings, all energetic manifestations include some form of this layer of consciousness that has been called the soul. This layer of consciousness that has been called the soul exists in rocks, in trees, in cars and in all species of animals. In short, it exists in everything you will ever encounter in your lives. The significance of this is that all that is, whether furniture, human beings, insects or bits of dust, deserve equal respect, because they are all the same stuff, and, if you believe in souls, they all have souls. It has been an act of supreme arrogance for human beings to suppose that whatever souls were, they were the only ones that have them. As many of you who are in human form long to experience the unity that you know reality actually is, it is important to consider whether insisting that you are better and/or set apart from all that is, in part because you have "souls", is really worth it, as the very belief that you are better or set apart or "the chosen ones" is the belief that prevents you from allowing yourselves to experience oneness. For, indeed, if oneness exists, then you must be it as much as and no more than anything or anyone else.

Buddha and Christ experienced the same thing and described it differently. Buddha was aware of the different forms consciousness (i.e. energy) could take, but he did not choose to differentiate the layers of consciousness in the same way that Christ did. Because of the way that Christ characterized the different layers of consciousness, some confusion has arisen. It is, in part, the confusion that arises when a teacher is trying to make a particular point, while leaving other points to be clarified later, because all that needs to be taught cannot be integrated by the student at once.

The summary of my answer is that, if there is a soul, then everything and everyone that exists has one. Furthermore, since the layer of consciousness that has been identified as the soul is just a layer of consciousness and, in that way, not essentially different from any other layer of consciousness, it is just as accurate to not single it out as having any separate significance at all. Please note that the Buddha did differentiate between different qualities of mind, while not denying the unity of mind. Try substituting the concept of consciousness for the concept of mind in Buddhism and the gap between what is known of Christ's teachings and what is known of Buddha's teachings might not seem so great. Thank you for your question.

A Followup Question from Sarah: Vywamus, Thank you for your answer concerning the soul. As a follow up I am also hoping that you could address the question of self/no-self. If, in fact, all is one then it seems to me that there can be no self as we define it in Western cultures. If this is true, how can we truly be working on self-acceptance? I look forward to your response.

Vywamus's Response

It is true that everything that is is one big unity, and that would make it seem that there could not be any such thing as a self. However, there is such a thing as a self, although the fact that a self can exist does not imply that there is ever more than one thing in existence.

Within the one thing that is all that is, it is possible to hold a point of focus that is not aware that it is all that is, and there is always such a point of focus being held. It is this point of focus that is called the self. It is, in fact, this aspect of the nature of reality that is the impetus for movement and self exploration and growth. All would be dead and lifeless without these points of focus that do not recognize themselves for who or what they are.

For example, human beings are god or all that is or whatever you want to call the oneness that is the essential nature of reality, but most human beings don't experience themselves as one with everything. The fact that their oneness with all that is is not consciously experienced by them does not make them separate from all that is. Rather, their lack of conscious awareness just focuses them on what they do know. What human beings do know or consciously experience about themselves is known as their selves.

Another quality of reality is that all aspects of reality, if fully explored, will reveal the nature of the whole. In other words, any point of focus in the whole of what is, if fully known through the process of self exploration, will reveal the nature of the whole. So human beings are holding a point of focus that is, in a way, within the whole of what is, while, at the same time, being or reflecting the whole of what is.

It is not a surprise that you who have built your whole belief structure on the foundation of the illusion of duality have a hard time understanding how this can be so. In a belief structure built on duality, you imagine there can be more than one separate thing at once. If this is your belief, then there is no need to know how it can be that reality is actually one unified thing which can be experienced in a way that does not necessarily reveal its oneness. Knowledge of what is, in a dualistic system, can be obtained by exploring that which is the other thing and not self, so self exploration is not required in such a system, and, thus, the self is abandoned.

The purpose of self acceptance practice is to reveal to you your true nature of oneness with all that is. If you will fully explore the point of focus you hold-- i.e. your self-- you will experience your true nature and your state of oneness with all that is. In fact, when you are engaged in holding a point of focus within all that is, the only way to come to know your oneness with all that is is to explore and get to know your point of focus. Once you have begun to hold a point of focus it is your only point of contact to the awareness of the true nature of all that is and who you really are.. Taking on a point of focus is a commitment to the expansion of consciousness. Once you have made such a commitment there is only one way to return to the awareness of the oneness of which you are a part. Self exploration is the one way, and self acceptance is the only way that self exploration can become bearable. That is why it is such a courageous act that you have undertaken in holding the human focus, and it is why we who have not so narrowed our focus are willing and happy to honor you by our service.

A Question from Madeleine: I wonder around the subject of viewing everything I see as OK. If for example I see someone really brutally hurting an animal and I feel my stomach turn and an accompanying experience of anger so strong I could kill the person doing this, is that OK too? If everyone always accept everything they see as OK it seems to me that a lot of rotten stuff just will keep to go on and on forever.

Vywamus's Response

I commend you on your honest consideration of a concept that is very difficult to explore in the context of the belief structure of right and wrong in which you live on a daily basis. The basic truth is that everything that is is always okay. The reason that it is okay is that it has to be, because it is. By that I mean that whatever is already is. You cannot make it not be. You only have the choice of accepting what is or not accepting what is. You just don't have the choice available to you to make what is not be so. It is the illusion of duality that appears to provide the option of having that which is not wanted removed from what is, because it is duality that assumes that more than one thing can be. If more than one thing can be, then it would be possible to separate yourself from what you don't like and not let it be part of you anymore. Since duality is only an illusion, the opportunity to separate yourself from what you don't want to be part of is only an illusion, as well. If you cannot separate yourself from something, then you can only chose either to experience it or not. You cannot make it actually go away. If you want to experience what is as the single unity that it is, then you must become willing to experience everything that is just as it is. If you want to experience life in unity, then you cannot exclude anything, because then your experience wouldn't be including everything that is.

I know this sounds a little bit like a riddle, but it is the truth. In understanding how it is that everything that is can be okay, even though so many apparently awful things seem to exist, it is important to understand that being okay is not the same thing as being good or as being desirable. The term okay in this context simply means acceptable. It doesn't mean preferable. What is is okay because it is. Any other conclusion would lead to the belief that some things are not acceptable just as they are, and they must be acceptable just as they are because they already are and cannot be made to go away. Once something exists it cannot be made to stop existing. If you find something unacceptable, then you cannot experience it. If there is anything you cannot experience, then you can never have the experience of the unity of reality, which is its nature. In other words, you cannot experience all of reality.

Applying this truth to your more specific question, the experience of the animal being brutally hurt must be okay because it is, and any denial of reality cannot operate to change that reality. Any denial of reality merely limits your experience of it. It is perfectly all right to chose to limit your experience of reality, perhaps because you are not able or not willing to accept all of reality at that moment. There is nothing wrong with your taking responsibility for what you can or cannot personally integrate in any moment. In that case the choice is made without denying the nature of reality. It is when you try to deny the nature of reality in order not to have to know yourself that you begin to live in distorted awareness. The pain of the animal is okay. It is just the experience of pain. You may not be willing to accept that in any particular moment. Not being able to accept something does not lead to distortion of awareness unless your inability to accept is blamed on the nature of reality. You know that you have distorted your awareness when you find yourself declaring an experience to be not acceptable. If you, on the other hand, realize that while the experience is acceptable, you personally are not presently able to accept it, then you have simply accepted who you are without distortion of your perception of reality as a whole. Because human beings believe yourselves not to be good enough, you don't really want to know yourselves. Therefore, in an effort to understand reality without having to know yourselves, you construct the illusion that there is something wrong with reality itself.

One of the important things that is overlooked by those who want to control their life experiences through controlling their environment, is that they only have the one life. By refusing to enter the life you have, you experience lack of fulfillment, not because there is anything unfullfilling about the life you have, but because you are not willing to take in the life you have. You are surrounded by nourishment, yet you starve because you refuse to eat. You refuse to eat because you don't like the food. That's you choice. The fact you don't like the food doesn't mean it isn't nourishing. The animal that has been brutalized has been brutalized. You can't change that. You won't change that by killing the one doing the brutalizing. You want to kill the one doing the brutalizing not to protect the animal, but to protect yourself from feeling the pain of being brutalized. You may not yet be ready to feel the pain of being brutalized. That's all right. You may kill the brutalizer. That's all right, too. None of that changes the reality that brutalization occurs and that it can be accepted. If you accept that it is okay that brutalization does occur, then you will finally be able to help the animal instead of killing the one bringing to you the experience of brutality.

In receiving this reply to your question, please take into consideration that I am honoring the awareness implied by your question by offering you a challenging reply. Take your time to work with the answer and to let it fully sink into your awareness. I admire you efforts.

A Question from Matt: Who is and what is the history of Vywamus?

Vywamus's Response

Many people have asked this question, and, at least through this channel, I have consistently chosen not to reply to it directly. In not answering your question in the way I believe you want it answered, I am not playing games, because I could easily describe for you the energetic form I hold in the particular point of focus that you encounter me, and I could easily describe the outer circumstances in which that energetic form seems to exist. However, through this channel I am working with the purpose of helping you human beings to explore yourselves, not others.

As a teacher of levels of awareness that are not widely held by you, I become an object of curiosity myself. Since you live in the illusion of duality, most of the time your awareness is still driven by the misconception that I am something or someone different and apart from you, and, if I answered your question more directly, many of my students would attempt to explore and to try to become me, instead of exploring themselves. I am here trying to teach that the only way each of you can know and encounter another directly is through self exploration and awareness of who you yourselves are. You already have habitual behaviors that make such self exploration an enormous task. I do not want to feed those habitual behaviors through my teachings any more than is necessary. The most I am presently willing to offer on this subject is that if you will diligently explore yourself through practicing self acceptance, you will come to know who I am on all of my levels of existence, just as you will come to know yourself in the same way. Thank you for your question, and I do appreciate your interest.

A Question from Ruth: Dear Vywamus, For a long time, I have known in my heart that I will do great things, even become well-known. In my life right now though, I feel very confused and lost. I know a lot of what I want to accomplish, yet a stuckness comes over me and I feel fearful and paralyzed. I then want to seek out help with this. For example, psychics, astrology, etc. Even when in my heart and mind I know the answers lie within and that I am never truly alone, I feel bad about my current situation: unemployed, not feeling motivated, lack of money, self-doubt, self-sabotage and depressed about all of that. I want to move forward with my dreams and surrender to the vision God has given me. Can you give me any insight on how to transform myself and how to see the now and future as one?

Vywamus's Response

The misconception that is confusing you is your belief that you must accomplish any particular task to be valuable or to experience directly your own value. The truth is that your value as a human being and/or in any other form is innate. Your value cannot be lost by you, your value cannot be earned by you, and your value cannot be proven by you. Your question indicates that you are trying to earn or establish by some kind of tangible proof that you are valuable. Until you know from direct experience of who you are that you are valuable, nothing tangible that you accomplish as a human being will ever convince you of your value.

The core misconception that leads to the belief among humans that you each must prove yourselves or prove your value as human beings is the belief that there exists somewhere or somehow something that is different or separate from yourselves. As a seeker of truth, you are aware of the ultimate truth that all that is is actually a single unity. It is time for you to live your life trusting that ultimate truth. If you are willing to live in the reality of the unity of all that is, then you will become willing to know that whatever there is in the universe, you are already it. If this is true, then whatever God is you are. If you are God, then you must have value or be good enough already, because there is nothing else to be other that what you are. Your task, therefore, is not to do great things or become well known, although this may occur. Your task is to know that you are God. Your circumstances do not need to change for you to start your task of getting to know yourself through self exploration. What you do need to do is begin the practice of self acceptance, because you cannot come to know that which you do not accept: i.e. yourself.

A first step for you in the practice of self acceptance might be to take careful note of all the ways you do not presently accept yourself just as you are. You might consider, once you have done so, that anyone would have trouble functioning with such a constant barrage of self judgment, and you might notice the actual affect not accepting yourself has had in you life. This process can bring you to the awareness that accepting yourself just as you are, although not what you had hoped for, might still be a more attractive alternative than living the way you are now, constantly berating yourself.

Be aware that I am here suggesting a simple first step in the process of getting to know yourself and who you really are. You will not be able to stay on a path of self acceptance without regular help and support. It is a much more challenging path than it first appears. You probably think you must be some sort of terrible cripple for needing such help. Nothing could be further from the truth. If you, in reality, live in a single unity, why should you not expect help as a constant reflection of your very nature. After all, it is really just you that you are seeking help from, no matter what the face is that is being worn. Please remember that you are never alone on your journey, you just sometimes choose to think you are. Let me know if I can be of any further help to you.

A Question from James: Why is Mary appearing at our center and why are so many UFOs buzzing the place constantly, have them on video.

Vywamus's Response

From my point of view, it is not important to know why something is happening. Rather, it is important to experience what is happening and let the experience itself be the teaching. One of the ways human beings lose their way is by becoming too concerned with the why of the events in their lives. For example, if, while you are engaged in walking meditation, you trip and fall, you might focus your attention on understanding why you tripped and what was the significance of your tripping while engaged in walking meditation. You might look to the nature of your injuries to explain the reason for your fall. All this time you are involved in trying to understand the why of your fall, you have been taking your attention away from the actual experience of tripping and falling. You have not paid attention to the sensations in your body resulting from your fall. You have not paid attention to the feelings that have arisen for you as a result of your fall. You have not paid attention to the direct awareness that may come to you as a result of your fall.

Direct awareness is awareness that comes without linear thought. It just appears whole and with certainty without the need for underlying or rational explanation. It is a great challenge for human beings to choose to not engage in the process of rationally analyzing each event in their lives, because it has seemed to be the ability to engage in rational analysis that has set humans apart from other creatures as special. Unfortunately, rational analysis can become a trap if not carefully used, and that is what has happened here on earth. When the process of rationally thinking events through becomes a substitute for experiencing events, then most of the richness of and satisfaction in life is lost.

Wanting to know why Mary is appearing at your center and why so many UFOs are "buzzing the place" is an attempt to put a rational explanation on the events you are experiencing. I urge you to refrain from doing this as much as possible. Instead, allow yourself to experience what it is like for you to have Mary appear to you at your center or to appear at your center at all. Allow yourself to experience what it is like for you to have UFOs "buzzing the place." Always focus on your own experience of your life on all levels, mental, emotional, physical and spiritual. You are not here to learn about Mary or about UFOs. You are here to learn about yourself in whatever context you may find yourself in. No context is ever better for this purpose than any other. Thank you for your question.

The Mechanics of Reality channeled by Ann Hastings is a compilation of Vywamus's teachings on the practice of self-acceptance and offers the reader a new map for the exploration of consciousness. Available now from BMHC Press! Click Here to Order